September 7, 1999
A Story To Live By
By Ann Wells (Los Angeles Times)
My brother-in-law opened the bottom drawer of my sister's bureau
and lifted out a tissue-wrapped package. "This," he said, "is not a
slip. This is lingerie." He discarded the tissue and handed me the slip.
It was exquisite; silk, handmade and trimmed with a cobweb of lace. The
price tag with an astronomical figure on it was still attached. "Jan
bought this the first time we went to New York, at least 8 or 9 years ago.
She never wore it. She was saving it for a special occasion.
Well, I guess this is the occasion." He took the slip from me and put it
on the bed with the other clothes we were taking to the mortician. His
hands lingered on the soft material for a moment, then he slammed the
drawer shut and turned to me. "Don't ever save anything for a special
occasion. Every day you're alive is a special occasion."
I remembered those words through the funeral and the days that
followed when I helped him and my niece attend to all the sad chores
that follow an unexpected death. I thought about them on the plane
returning to California from the Midwestern town where my sister's
family lives. I thought about all the things that she hadn't seen or heard
or done. I thought about the things that she had done without realizing
that they were special. I'm still thinking about his words, and they've
changed my life. I'm reading more and dusting less. I'm sitting on the
deck and admiring the view without fussing about the weeds in the garden.
I'm spending more time with my family and friends and less time in
committee meetings.
Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experience to
savour, not endure. I'm trying to recognize these moments now and cherish
them. I'm not "saving" anything; we use our good china and crystal for
every special event such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped,
the first camellia blossom. I wear my good blazer to the market if I like
it. My theory is if I look prosperous, I can shell out $28.49 for one
small bag of groceries without wincing. I'm not saving my good perfume for
special parties; clerks in hardware
stores and tellers in banks have noses that function as well as my
partygoing friends. "Someday" and "one of these days" are losing their
grip on my vocabulary. If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to
see and hear and do it now.
I'm not sure what my sister would've done had she known that she
wouldn't be here for the tomorrow we all take for granted. I think
she would have called family members and a few close friends. She might
have called a few former friends to apologize and mend fences or past
squabbles. I like to think she would have gone out for a Chinese dinner,
her favorite food. I'm guessing - I'll never know. It's those little
things left undone that would make me angry if I knew that my hours were
limited. Angry because I put off seeing good friends whom I was going to
get in touch with - someday. Angry because I hadn't written certain
letters that I intended to
write - one of these days. Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my husband
and daughter often enough how much I truly love them. I'm trying very hard
not to put off, hold back, or save anything
that would add laughter and luster to our lives. And every morning when I
open my eyes, I tell myself that it is special. Every day, every minute,
every breath truly is... a gift from God.
The Echo of Life
A son and his father were walking on the mountains.
Suddenly, the son falls, hurts himself and screams:
"AAAhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"
To his surprise, he hears the voice repeating,
somewhere in the mountain: "AAAhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"
Curious, he yells: "Who are you?"
He receives the answer: "Who are you?"
Angered at the response, he screams: "Coward!"
He receives the answer: "Coward!"
He looks to his father and asks: "What's going on?"
The father smiles and says: "My son, pay attention."
And then he screams to the mountain: "I admire you!"
The voice answers: "I admire you!"
Again the man screams: "You are a champion!"
The voice answers: "You are a champion!"
The boy is surprised, but does not understand.
Then the father explains: "People call this ECHO,
but really this is LIFE.
It gives you back everything you say or do.
Our life is simply a reflection of our actions.
If you want more love in the world, create more love in your heart.
If you want more competence in your team, improve your
competence.
This relationship applies to everything, in all aspects of life;
Life will give you back everything you have given to it.
YOUR LIFE IS NOT A COINCIDENCE. IT'S A REFLECTION OF YOU!
- Author Unknown
CHOOSE HOW YOU START YOUR DAY
Michael is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good
mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him
how he was doing, he would reply, If I were any better, I would be twins!
He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day,
Michael was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of
the situation.
Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to
Michael and asked him, I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all
of the time. How do you do it?
Michael replied, Each morning I wake up and say to myself, Mike, you
have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or you can
choose to be in a bad mood. I choose to be in a good mood.
Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I
can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it.
Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept
their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life.
I choose the positive side of life.
Yeah, right, it isn't that easy, I protested. Yes, it is, Michael
said. Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every
situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose
how people will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad
mood.
The bottom line is: It's your choice how you live life.
I reflected on what Michael said. Soon thereafter, I left the tower
industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought
about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.
Several years later, I heard that Michael was involved in a serious
accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower. After 18 hours
of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Michael was released from the
hospital with rods placed in his back.
I saw Michael about six months after the accident. When I asked him
how he was, he replied. If I were any better, I'd be twins. Wanna see my
scars? I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through
his mind as the accident took place.
The first thing that went through my mind was the well being of my
soon to be born daughter, Michael replied. Then, as I lay on the ground, I
remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or I could
choose to die. I chose to live.
Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness I asked? Michael
continued, ..the paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going
to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions
on the face of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes,
I read 'he's a dead man. I knew I needed to take action. What did you do I
asked?
Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me, said
Michael. She asked if I was allergic to anything. 'Yes, I replied. The
doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a
deep breath and yelled, Gravity. Over their laughter, I told them, 'I am
choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead.'
Michael lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because
of his amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day we have the
choice to live fully. Attitude, after all, is everything.
You have two choices now:
1. Delete this.
2. Forward it to the people you care about.
I hope you will choose #2. I did.
- Unknown
The Optimist
There is a story of identical twins. One was a hope-filled optimist. “Everything is coming up roses!” The other was a said and hopeless pessimist. He thought that Murphy, as in Murphy’s Law, was an optimist. The worried parents of the boys brought them to the local psychologist.
He suggested to the parents a plan to balance the twins’ personalities. “On their next birthday, put them in separate rooms to open their gifts. Give the pessimist the best toys you can afford, and give the optimist a box of manure”. The parents followed these instructions and carefully observed the results.
When they peeked in on the pessimist, they heard him audibly complaining, “I don’t like the color of this computer…I’ll bet this calculator will break…I don’t like this game…I know someone who’s got a bigger toy car than this…”
Tiptoeing across the corridor, the parents peeked in and saw their little optimist gleefully throwing the manure up in the air. He was giggling. “You can’t fool me! Where there’s this much manure, there’s gotta be a pony!”
- Author Unknown
There Is Greatness All Around You - Use It
There are many people who could be Olympic champions, All-Americans who have never tried. I’d estimate five million people could have beaten me in the pole vault the years I won it, at least five million. Men who were stronger, bigger and faster than I was, could have done it, but they never picked up a pole, never made the feeble effort to pick their legs off the ground to try to get over the bar.
Greatness is all around us. It’s easy to be great because great people will help you. What is fantastic about all the conventions I go to is that the greatest in the business will come and share their ideas, their methods and their techniques with everyone else. I have seen the greatest salesmen open up and show young salesmen exactly how they did it. They don’t hold back. I have also found it true in the world of sports.
I’ll never forget the time I was trying to break Dutch Warmer Dam’s record. I was about a foot below his record, so I called him on the phone. I said, "Dutch, can you help me? I seem to have leveled off. I can’t get any higher."
He said, "Sure, Bob, come on up to visit me and I’ll give you all I got." I spent three days with the master, the greatest pole vaulter in the world. For three days, Dutch gave me everything that he’d seen. There were things that I was doing wrong and he corrected them. To make a long story short, I went up eight inches. That great guy gave me the best that he had. I’ve found that sports champions and heroes willingly do this just to help you become great, too.
John Wooden, the great UCLA basketball coach, has a philosophy that every day he is supposed to help someone who can never reciprocate. That’s his obligation.
When in college working on his masters thesis on scouting and defensive football, George Allen wrote up a 30-page survey and sent it out to the great coaches in the country. Eighty-five percent answered it completely.
Great people will share, which is what made George Allen one of the greatest football coaches in the world. Great people will tell you their secrets. Look for them, call them on the phone or buy their books. Go where they are, get around them, talk to them. It is easy to be great when you get around great people.
By Bob Richards
Olympic Athlete
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