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What You See is What You Get
By Glen Hopkins
H. Jackson Brown Jr. once wrote,
“Your mind can only hold one thought at a
time, make it a positive and constructive
one.” As simple as these words
may seem, they are in fact, very
true. You see, if you are looking for a
way to feel better at any given
moment, all you have to do is change what
you are focusing on. Your
brain is a very powerful tool that you own and
you should use to your advantage.
When was the last time you were reminiscing
about a great time in your
life and it made you feel terrible?
When was the last time you were
thinking about a painful event in
your life and it made you feel good?
I’d venture to say you answered
‘never’ to both of these questions.
That’s because what you focus on
in life is what you get! Would you be
willing to agree that Mother Teresa
felt a great deal of love in her life
because love was her main focus
in life?
Understanding this, next time you
find yourself in a less than desirable
situation, be sure to find the positive
side of it and focus your
attention on that. Not only
will you feel better about the situation but
also you will actually be in a better
frame of mind to work through it.
With this mindset you will find
yourself focusing on the solution rather
than the problem.
The best way to control your focus
is to ask yourself good questions.
Such as, “What can I find that is
good in this situation?” “What have I
learned from this that will make
me more successful the next time?” “How
can I make this situation better?”
By asking yourself effective
questions, you will force your brain
to look for and find a solution for
what you can do to solve a problem
and how you can make a situation better.
On the other hand, if you ask yourself
self-defeating questions such as,
“Why does this always happen to
me?” “Why can’t I have that?” “What did
I do to deserve this?” Your
brain will look for those exact answers and
tell you why bad things happen to
you, why you can’t have something and
why you deserve something bad.
Do you see what is happening here? You
are confirming to yourself why you
don’t deserve something and why bad
things happen to you. Now
it’s one thing when someone else tells you
something like that, but when you
tell it to yourself, you are sure to
believe it! I guarantee you
will always believe yourself on a
subconscious level if not on a conscious
level. In other words, be
careful what you ask for!
“Ask and you will receive.
Seek and you will find; Knock, and it will be
opened to you.” – Matthew 7:7
So practice focusing on positive
thoughts and learn to ask yourself
effective questions that will lead
to constructive answers. If you look
hard enough, there will always be
a positive side to every situation. And
for the challenges you must face
in life, focus on the solution, not the
problem. If you focus on the
problem at hand, you will never find the
solution. Focus on your dreams
and they will become a reality. Ask
yourself “How can I reach my dream?”
Don’t be surprised when your brain
gives you the answer!
- Glen Hopkins
This article may be reprinted with
the following attachment:
Copyright (c) 1999 Glen Hopkins
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Glen Hopkins, owns Motivational-Messages.com,
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Coach's column:
What If You Couldn't Fail?
Failure is
defined as "falling short of hitting the target."
What if you
couldn't fail? How differently might you approach
challenging
situations if you knew you could be successful?
To look at
"failure" we need to look at two aspects. First, the
targets we
set and second, our definition of success. For
example, I'm
a retailer who sets a sales target of 10 widgets.
I only sell
9. Am I a failure or did I succeed 9 times and run
out of time?
To get one sale I may have had to speak to 10
people. If
my product did not meet the needs of 9 of these people
I spoke to,
did I fail? Was each "no" a failure or a stepping
stone to success?
Baseball, and
especially last year's home run quest by Mark
McGuire and
Sammy Sosa is a great example of failure. Both
these men
swung at the ball and missed it or hit it the wrong way
about 100
times more often than they hit it the way they wanted.
The average
"professional" baseball player who earns $1 million
per year fails
to get on base 75% of the time. Seven times out
of ten at
bats, he walks back to the dugout having been
unsuccessful
at his job. Or was he? Baseball is a game of
statistics
and so is life.
If we take
one, two, three or ten setbacks as evidence of
failure, how
would we progress? Thomas Edison is known to have
tried to create
the electric light bulb more than 1000 different
ways. One
of his financial backers is said to have asked, "Tom,
why don't
you quit? Can't you see this idea of yours is a
failure?"
Edison’s response was, "“Every time it did not work I
got feedback
on how to make it better. I have now eliminated
1000 ways
it does not work and I get closer and closer to
success."
Every failure moved him toward to his goal.
Thomas Edison,
Sammy Sosa, Mark McGuire, all had one thing in
common. They
looked at their results as feedback which helped
them adjust
their actions and move toward greater and greater
chances for
success. They learned from their mistakes. They
took missing
the mark as feedback to fine-tune their efforts
until the
results matched their target.
Many of us
are easily dissuaded and discouraged by not
succeeding
the first time we try something new. The learning
experience
of "falling short of hitting the target" can bruise
the ego. The
projected pain of not looking good or feeling
inadequate
has stopped many efforts to even try to hit the mark.
Why not turn
a missed target into a new learning opportunity?
Step back
from the situation and ask yourself, "What adjustments
would bring
me closer to my target?" Keep your eye on the ball
and keep swinging!
Thank goodness
Thomas Edison kept trying and did not quit when
he fell short
of hitting the target in his early attempts to
create the
electric light bulb. Otherwise I might have had to
write this
by candlelight!
- Robert Knowlton
http://www.successoptions.com
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Turn Your Problems Into Opportunities
When faced with problems or setbacks
in your life, what is your immediate
reaction? If you're like most people,
you probably curse them. Why did
this have to happen to me? What
am I going to do now? My plans are ruined!
This response is only natural. However,
after the initial disappointment
wears off, you have a choice to
make. You can either wallow in misery and
dwell on the negative aspects of
your situation or you can find the
benefit or lesson which the problem
is offering. Yes, you will probably
face a period of uncertainty or
struggle, but there is always a flip-side
to the difficulty. You see, a "problem"
is often not a problem at all. It
may actually be an opportunity.
You probably know or have heard about
someone who lost his or her job and
then went on to start a successful
business. In most instances, that
person will tell you that if he
or she had not been laid off, the new
business would never have been started.
How about the times you were
absolutely convinced that a particular
job was perfect for you; you had a
great interview and just couldn't
wait for the offer. And you were
rejected. Days or months later a
new job came along and you realized that
the first position would not have
worked out. The rejection was, in fact,
a blessing.
How Adversity Serves Us
In my experience, adversity can
serve us on the following levels:
1. Adversity gives us perspective.
Once you have recovered from a
life-threatening illness, a flat
tire or a leaky roof doesn't seem so
troubling anymore. You are able
to rise above the petty annoyances of
daily living and focus your attention
on the truly important things in
your life.
2. Adversity teaches us to be grateful
for the many blessings we normally
take for granted. Through problems
and difficulties, especially those
which involve loss or deprivation,
you develop a deeper appreciation for
many aspects of your life. It's
trite but true -- you don't usually
appreciate something until it is
taken away from you. When you have no hot
water, you suddenly value hot water.
Not until you're sick do you cherish
good health. The wise person continues
to dwell on blessings, even after
the loss or deprivation has passed.
3. Adversity strengthens us and allows
us to discover a reservoir of
previously untapped abilities. After
surviving a difficult ordeal or
overcoming an obstacle, you emerge
emotionally stronger. Life has tested
you and you were equal to the task.
Then, when the next hurdle appears,
you are better equipped to handle
it. Problems and challenges bring out
the best within us -- we discover
abilities that we didn't know we
possessed. Many of us would never
have discovered these talents if life
hadn't made us travel over some
bumpy terrain.
4. Adversity encourages us to make
changes and take action. Most people
cling to old, familiar patterns
regardless of how boring or painful their
lives have become. It often takes
a crisis or a series of difficulties to
motivate them to make adjustments.
Problems are often life's way of
letting you know that you are off
course and need to take corrective
action.
5. From adversity, we gain valuable
knowledge which we can use at a later
date. Take the example of a failed
business venture: the entrepreneur may
learn something that enables him
or her to succeed spectacularly on the
next endeavor.
6. A problem or difficulty leads
us to something better. A relationship
terminates and you go on to a more
satisfying relationship. You lose your
job and find a better one. In these
instances, the "problem" is not a
problem at all, but rather an opportunity
in disguise.
7. Overcoming adversity makes you
feel better about yourself. When you
muster all of your courage and determination
to overcome an obstacle, you
feel competent and gain confidence.
You have a greater feeling of
self-worth and you carry these positive
feelings into subsequent
activities. Sure, you'll have your
share of problems and adversities in
life. I'm not suggesting that when
tragedy strikes you deny your emotions
or refuse to face reality. What
I am saying is don't immediately judge
your situation as a "tragedy" and
dwell on how bad off you are. Sometimes
you won't be able to instantly spot
the benefit which will come from being
in your situation ... but it does
exist.
Don't give up. Continually ask yourself
what you have learned from your
trying experience and focus on moving
forward and growing as a person. In
times of crisis, always strive to
maintain an optimistic attitude and an
open mind -- for this is the environment
that will allow you to turn your
problems into opportunities.
Jeff Keller
Jeff Keller is a motivational speaker
and delivers his presentations and
seminars to businesses, groups and
trade associations throughout the U.S.
and abroad. He is the author of
the newly released book, Attitude is
Everything. For more information
on Jeff's products and services, visit
his web site: http://www.attitudeiseverything.com
Discover "The Invisible
Path to Success"!
FREE five lesson class shows
you a refreshingly original and shorter path
to improving your finances,
relationships, spiritual life, career, enjoyment
of life, and more. To enroll
just click
here.
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© 1999-2003 Listopt Publications, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
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